Where it all began.

Chapter 01:

Marilyn has a distinct memory of being 5 years old and asking herself “Why is everyone so mean to each other?”  The harsh, cutting words. The cold stares. The callous tone. Aren’t we supposed to be kind to each other? Those early experiences began a lifetime of thinking about emotional violence within her community (a community that she loves very much)

Fast forward to 2009. Marilyn gets persuaded to apply for a senior position at her Nation. She knows better, but she wants to help her community. The glares, sighs and cold body language at the job interview should have warned her off. Not long into the job her worst fears materialize. Surrounded by her own people, she felt emotionally unsafe and alone, unable to ask for help. For the first time in her life, she felt like a failure.

In the middle of this work environment, some weird guy from Ottawa kept calling. “I have an executive interchange and I want to work for your First Nation”. Marilyn was too distracted to really hear him. Then he explained “I can come work for you guys for free.” Marilyn responded “For free? Get on up here!” So Thomas moved to Yukon on December 31, 2009 with his wife Mara and two daughters, Ella and Sadie.

About six months later Marilyn left her job. The lateral violence had become too much, and her new employer had a Starbucks next door.  She and Thomas said goodbye but hoped they’d work together in the future.

Chapter 02:

In the fall of 2013, Marilyn was teaching Indigenous governance at Yukon University. A staff member from the Kwanlin Dün First Nation called Marilyn. An election was coming up and the Elders were worried. Election time is never a good time in their community. They asked Marilyn “Would you offer lateral violence workshops for our leadership, Elders, youth, citizens, and staff, basically for everyone in the community?”

Marilyn said yes, and then asked if she could have a 6’4” tall man of European descent help her out, and the Elders said “absolutely, whatever you need”. She then called Thomas up and asked him “Do you want to help me develop and facilitate a lateral violence workshop for Kwanlin Dün First Nation?” His answer “Sure, but what the heck is lateral violence?”. At that moment the workshop was born.

Sure, but what the heck is lateral violence?”

Chapter 03:

Not long after that Marilyn and Thomas decided they needed a new name for the workshop, something more hopeful and empowering. So they re-named it the Lateral Kindness Workshop. They then hired a local Tlingit artist, Blake Lepine, to design a logo for the workshop. In 2024, they hired another Tlingit artist Guna Jensen to update the logo.

Since those early days, Marilyn and Thomas have facilitated the Lateral Kindness Workshop for thousands of people working in many First Nation, government and non-profit organizations spanning Yukon, British Columbia, Alberta, Ontario, New Brunswick, Newfoundland and Alaska.

Over 80% of participants in the workshop rate their learning experience as “excellent”. We regularly hear people say: “This wasn’t just the best lateral violence workshop I’ve ever been to; it was the best workshop I’ve ever been to.”

The workshop now reflects the collective spirit and wisdom of every single person, both Indigenous people and their allies, who have participated. We thank you all for sharing your ideas, feelings, values, and stories with us.

This wasn’t just the best lateral violence workshop I’ve ever been to; it was the best workshop I’ve ever been to.”